Poverty 2: The bible and the life of Jesus

Poverty in the Bible.


In the Old Testament, there was the idea that richness is the fruit of the blessing of God, while poverty is the fruit of a punishment for something done wrong.

Only with the prophets come out the idea that often the rich are so because they exploit the poor. In Amos, but also in Isaiah and Jeremiah we find already the message that the Lord will listen to the cry of the poor and oppressed.

In the Psalms we find the invitation not to attach our hearts to material things which are destined to perish.

So poverty becomes something acceptable, but surely not a kind of life to be directly chosen.

In the New Testament we have a radical change. Phil 2 says that Jesus Christ though he was rich in heaven decided to lower himself and become a servant. For this choice the Father glorifies him. Is in Christ that poverty, humility, weakness are made choices needed to carry on God's plan: the plan of salvation.


The life of Jesus
Nazareth was the smallest village in Galilee (remember the episode in which Nathanael comments: “can anything good come from Nazareth?”). Mary was a simple young girl, Joseph a humble carpenter. Nobody could have forbidden God to choose the Palace of Herod to be born in, if he wanted so. Yet the poverty of Nazareth was not enough; they had to go up to Bethlehem, where nobody wanted to accommodate them in their house, they had to be contented with a stable. Only the humble shepherd came to visit them, yet the powerful king, full of terror for this child, tried to kill him.

Because of the persecution of the king, the holy Family had to escape in a foreign country where they knew neither people nor their way of living or religion. In spite of having a so important and urgent and complicated mission to accomplish, Jesus decides to spend 30 years in the silence of his house working (that is 10 times more than the time dedicated to the apostolate). When he started preaching, he did it to the humble people; when he chose his disciples (the future leaders of his Church), he didn’t choose them among the scribes (teachers), the Pharisees (priests) or the Sadducees (politicians) but he went among the fishermen and simple ones, and the tax collectors, with a bad mixture of temperaments, which could have exploded every single moment. Whenever he addressed the powerful ones he used hard words. To the rich he gave the invitation to give up the possessions and distribute them to the poor (see Zaccheus and the young rich fellow).

The first of the Beatitudes in Matthew is “Blessed the poor in Spirit”, while in Luke we have “Blessed are you poor”. The difference between the two statements, which is so deep from the theological point of view, is almost not existent in the meaning of the words of Jesus because there is no real poverty if it is not internalized, and no real poverty in Spirit which will not translate itself in real poverty. To the disciples he tells: “The Son of man has nowhere to put his head”.

The main point of Jesus' poverty can be so described:

- Incarnation: The word “sharing” is not deep enough. Jesus becomes one of us.

- Rescue (Salvation): the incarnation is not meant for having an extra poor person but for rescuing the poor from their situation. The poor are blessed because now Jesus is there to save them.

- Providence: the instrument to be used is much higher than any human thing can be, so poverty is in order to make us available to administer the power of God himself. As long as we are for him we can be sure that he will provide us for whatever we are in need of. The material richness is the consequence of giving things away and not of working hard for them (you will receive a hundred fold).

- Purification: In order to recognize God and his plan we need pure eyes, not obscured by material things.

- Spirituality: the apostolate is done in order to achieve a spiritual good, not a material one so we have to learn to be detached from material things. God has to be always at the first place: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all the rest will be given unto you”.

- Full acceptance: He does not criticize people or their situation, but he makes them feel accepted as they are.

- Co-operation: He does not simply help the poor from above, but he wants their collaboration. He works with them and make use of what they give. The poor become the main agent of their own salvation (see the fish and bread accepted as tool for the multiplication of bread.

- Focusing on the goal and not on the means. What we are here for is for God’s plan not our plan. We should never forget that.

- Material things are important but at the end we will be asked to give account on how we have used them (I was hungry, thirsty etc.; see also the parable of the Talents).

Poverty 1: Introduction

THE VOW OF POVERTY: INTRODUCTION

In order to understand the vow of poverty we should have a clear idea of what poverty means.

First of all we should make a distinction between misery and poverty.

By misery we mean the condition in which a person lacks the basic necessities, like clean water, proper and sufficient food, education, safe house, hygiene and medicines. Whenever any of these things is missing, the very life of the person is in danger. Misery is never the plan of God and should never be accepted.

By poverty we mean the situation in which all the above necessities are assured, but no much more than that. What is missing are the unnecessary commodities like vehicles, television, telephone, and the access to a higher quality of things (best food, higher education, proper hospitals etc.).

Poverty can be of two kinds:

Unwanted poverty, where the poor person is not happy about his situation and wants to get out of it.

Chosen poverty, where the person could have had access to a better life, but for some reasons he prefers the simpler one. This is the case of the religious who make the vow of poverty.

The religious are called to make the vow of poverty, but not the vow of misery. There can be situations in which a person can risk his life for a greater good, but this has to happen only in exceptional cases, and for a personal choice. See for example the case of St. Aloysius who left the religious house to go and serve the camp of people affected by plague, or St. Damien who went to live in Molokay, island of lepers. Both eventually got infected and died.

We have to note the fact that poverty will change greatly according to places and times, and the same has to be with the practical way of living the vow.

The vow of chastity is more or less the same for all congregations and all times, the same can be said for the vow of obedience. When we come to poverty, instead, we have differences between congregation and congregation, and sometimes, in the same congregation, from place to place. Of course the difference will not be in the substance of the vow but in the way of practicing it.

Vow of chastity and sexuality

Sexuality and vow of chastity

Recalling what we have already said we can affirm that:

- Man is made for relationship

- Love is the language of this relationship

Both relationship and love come from God and are a necessary part of human nature. From that we have to deduct that the vow of chastity cannot go against these two points.

We can say that: The vow of chastity is in no way against relationships or love, but has a different way of fulfilling them. We do not give up the relationship but simply the physical aspect of it in order to develop better the social and spiritual aspects. We do not give up love, but the erotic aspect of it in order to develop better the agape aspect. So whoever makes the vow of chastity has to be a mature person, able to understand his own impulses and desires, accept them as part of his nature and sublimate them rather than satisfy them.

Sexuality 4: Moral and psychological problems connected with sexuality.

Problems and deviations in sexuality

Before dealing with the problems which can come out of sexuality we must put a clear foundation to our concept.


1- Sexuality comes from God (he is the source and so we should respect the way he made things).
It has a purpose. (Goal. We cannot use things for our own purpose)
2- The language of sexuality is LOVE. (Instrument. If we speak a different language then we create misunderstandings).
3- Furthermore we should keep in mind what in the person is:
- Gender. (Male or female, as provided by nature and written in the genes).
- Orientation. (This is the feeling we prove for other people, whom we are attracted to).
- Desire or choices. (The actions we take in our sexual behavior).

 The deviations can be divided in groups according to where the problem lies compared to the 6 points above. Of course we have to remember that not all deviations are actual sins. A sin is a purposely made choice of something that is wrong, while many deviations may not be wanted or even desired.


1- A first group regards the gender or the orientation. Here we find Tran-sexuality, Transvestitism and homosexuality.

Trans-sexuality. Is when a person undergoes a surgical operation in order to change sex. Physically speaking the person remains of the sex he belongs to (the chromosomes cannot be changed). What changes are the external organs (remove the poenis, build some breast, change the pitch of the voice). Usually this is done because the person is unhappy with his gender. In most cases it regards men who want to be women, and most of them eventually end up to work as prostitutes.
There is the case of those people who are Hermaphrodites, which means have both sexual organs of man and woman. Usually those people are inscribed among the men but genetically can be women.
A special group among the trans-sexual are the Eunuchs, or castrates. They are common is some parts of India and usually do the change for religious purposes. If the castration is done in early age (before puberty), it is difficult to recognize them for what they are.

Transvestitism. This means that a person dresses and acts like people of the opposite sex, but without any surgical change. This is mainly present among men who want to work as prostitutes.

Homosexuality. Unlike the two previous cases, homosexuality is not fruit of a choice but something which we develop without being aware of it. An homosexual person is aware of his gender, but instead of being attracted by people of the opposite sex, he/she is attracted by people of the same sex (a man who loves men or a woman who loves women). A common name for homosexual men is Gay, for ladies is Lesbian.

The reason why homosexuality develops is not known. Usually it does not come out clearly until the person is in the late teenage or even early adulthood.

There are different levels of homosexuality:
1- Sexual curiosity. The person wants to experience everything. He is not really an homosexual, but he is into sexual experiences and enjoys them all. Sometimes we can call them Bisexual.
2- Average homosexuality. This represents the great majority of the cases. Here the person really feels attracted by people of the same sex, and not by the other. The reasons for this could be many. Strict childhood education in which all sexual things were considered bad; Parents too strict or dominating; frequent double message about sexual behavior; Environment in which to be men and women is considered inferior or bad; not acceptance of its own gender; etc. All these cases can be helped and brought back to normal or to an acceptable level, but the person has to give full cooperation to the counselor.
3- Radical Homosexuality. This cases are rare and found only among men. This cannot be cured.

Today’s society tries to say that homosexuality is normal since is from nature. So they think that we should do nothing about that and should give the homosexual people the same rights of the others like homosexual marriages, right of adoptions etc. This position does not take in account the plan of God ; it does not consider that the different sexes have the purpose to complete each other, to procreate and to give a complete differentiated education to the children.

Statistics prove that among homosexuals the percentage of those who change several partners is much higher than among the others. So we have to say that homosexuality is a deviation.

Is homosexuality a sin?
If by homosexuality we mean the feelings of attraction, then in itself is not a sin, is only a sickness. It becomes a sin when a person wants to pursue the feelings and enters in sexual relationship or in active sexual life.

If homosexuality is a sickness, then it can be cured. So theoretically speaking a gay can become a priest, as long as he cures himself and he does not follow his feelings. But, as we said, an homosexual is emotionally weak in matter of sexuality, so he will be always under the pressure of temptations. Furthermore, since all his companions are boys and do not know about his situation, they will act more naturally and so become more tempting. For this reason, Pope John Paul II, in a recent document, invited the superiors of the seminaries not to allow in priesthood or perpetual vows gay people, but rather to help them to find a solution or a different way of living.


2- A Second group of deviations includes Pornography, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Masturbation. The problems with these deviations is that the behaviour of the person is only oriented to self gratification and exclude any other relationship.

Pornography. It is when a person enjoys looking at material (pictures, movies etc.) which are expressly erotic (naked people, sexual activities). The person makes use of this material in order to have pleasure for himself. This activity is wrong because the person does not take in consideration any of the aspects of sexuality. Here we have no relationship, no love, no caring for others,, but the person closes on himself only for pleasure. Pornography is maybe the biggest illegal business today (together with drug dealing), and generates millions of dollars every minute. A research says that as many as 50% of the internet connections used daily in India have pornographic material in it.

Pornography is a very addictive activity, comparable to drug abuse, drinking, gambling etc. One of the reasons for being addictive is because is forbidden, secret, it gives pleasure but at the same time makes the person feel sad, empty, guilty, unable to do anything. In order to forget or repress such bad emotions, the person looks for more exciting experiences, so more pornography.

Voyeurism. It means trying to see erotic situations (scenes), not in books or television or internet, but real ones. The person peeps through windows, keyholes etc. while others are taking bath, making love etc.
Here, like in pornography, all the aspects of sexuality are forgotten, there is no relationship, no love for the other person, who is seen only as an object of my pleasure and fantasy. It is quite common among teenagers to peep through the key holes of bathrooms while their sisters or mother take bath, or try to see through open cloths of ladies. Among teenagers is curiosity and at the beginning is normal, it becomes a problem when it carries on for long time.

Exhibitionism. We have it when a person shows his intimate parts (sexual) to somebody else in order to attract his or her attention. The person tries to tempt others in order to seduce them. People who do this are usually mentally unstable and can become dangerous when they enter in real relationships.

A special kind of exhibitionism is the stripping, where men or women take off their clothes in special places, to get money from the customers. There are special clubs of stripping girls, where members pay to see the shows. For the strippers is not matter of mental sickness but a work for money similar to prostitution.

Masturbation. It is when a person produces pleasure for himself handling his own genitals. Masturbation is a normal process in the early teenage, and usually it helps the boy to discover the capacities of his body. This activity should not last too long (maybe only a few months). The problem is when it continues for years. Usually if the experience of masturbation is extended, it denotes problems connected with:
- High guilt feelings
- Low self esteem
- Boredom
- Lack of ideals
- Fear of sexual feelings
- Lack of happyness with own sexuality
- Selfish and self centered attitude.

In order to remove masturbation we have to remove its causes, whichever they are.

Why is masturbation bad? Masturbation is wrong because the person becomes close on himself, avoids relationships, looks for pleasure instead of real love, he becomes unable to make sacrifices.
Masturbation is one of the causes of lack of maturity in people and is strongly connected with low self esteem.
Masturbation is also the usual consequence of the wrong activities which we have seen in all the deviations above.
Some people who are not able to stop masturbation start hoping that it would stop by itself. Some other try to convince themselves that masturbation is dangerous for health. Both ideas are wrong.

What can then help to solve masturbation?
- Avoid places and times where temptations are stronger.
- Keep busy
- Enjoy your activities
- Have many friends and enjoy talking, playing, working with them.
- Have some healthy female friendships
- Do not be afraid to tell the confessor and the spiritual director about this problem.


3- A third group of disorders is connected with a wrong kind of relationship or a wrong way of doing it. This group includes Pedophilia, Premarital sex, Adultery, Sadism, Masochism, Rape, Prostitution.

Pedophilia: We call pedophilia any sexual activity which an adult performs on a child. This is a very big crime because the child is not able to understand the full meaning and consequences of what is going on. Furthermore the child is weak, and the adult takes advantage of his weakness for his own pleasure. It is considered a crime even if the child may have given a consent to it.

Statistics prove that whoever commits pedophilia once, is prone to commit it again and again. Usually the child who is abused grows with low self esteem, fear of adults, strong guilt feelings, and incapacity of stable relationships.

Most of the time the person who has been abused in early childhood does not remember what happened in its childhood because the pain and even the episode have been repressed in the subconscious; nevertheless the negative effects are there.

Pedophilia does not regard only sexual intercourse, but any explicit sexual activity like asking the child to touch sexual parts. Most of the times the child falls victim because those who abuse him are adults whom he knows well and whom he trusts like his father, elder brother, neighbor, friends etc. Even in strict and conservative societies like the Arab world and India, the number of abuses on minors is very high. Unfortunately most of the cases will never be discovered because the child will not talk about it out of fear, and also because he will tend to blame himself for what happened.

In the recent times many cases came out of abuses committed by priests, religious and sisters. They were abuses committed in the past thirty years on children in hostels, seminaries and parishes. Those people, now adults are asking compensations of very high price.
The Pope has issued a document asking that all those priests and religious who committed abuses, be removed (suspended) forever from pastoral cares.
Similar to pedophilia are the sexual abuses committed on mentally incapacitated people.

Premarital sex. We call premarital sex the sexual relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend who want to get married, but are not married yet.
Usually those people say that they want to test if their relationship works well, in order to make a proper choice. Someone else say that they would surely get married but they cannot yet do so due only to financial or logistic problems. All these ideas are wrong because they consider marriage only from the sexual point of view. What is missing is the stability, the capacity of sacrifice, waiting for the other, respecting the needs of the other. Today’s society influences strongly the mentality of young people through movies, publicity, etc. The need for sex becomes stronger, and those who want to follow the traditional values are called old fashion, backward people.
Statistics say that in the west 30% of the girls below 18 and 70% of the girls below 21 had at least one sexual relationship.
As consequence of this there is a great increase in the number of teenagers’ pregnancies and abortions. These have very bad consequences on the life of the girl. Usually the girl is the one who pays the high price. Many of the couples who have sexual relationship before getting married, will eventually break up.

Adultery. We call adultery the sexual relationship of a married person with somebody who is not his wife or her husband. Adultery usually ruins families because it ruins love. The person forgets the commitment taken up at the moment of the wedding, and considers marriage only from the sexual point of view. In the western society as many as 30% of the families are characterized by divorce or living in without marriage.

Sadism. It means enjoying the pain inflicted on others. It is a mental sickness. Here the person get excited sexually only when he sees the other suffering in the relationship. The pain may be caused by scourging, beating etc. The other person becomes the victim, an object to be abused.

Masochism. It is similar to the previous but in the opposite direction. Here the person needs to inflict pain on himself in order to feel the pleasure, so he asks his partner to beat him etc. This people too are mentally sick, very dangerous and have a very low self esteem followed by very high guilt.

Rape. This is a relationship in which one of the two partners does not want it but is forced into it. The person who commits rape is mentally unstable and uses sex to show power and also to fulfill his desires. The other person is used only as object. So here we do not have at all relationship, and one is a victim of abuse. Usually the girls who get raped feels ashamed of it and full of fear so they do not come out to report the case to the police.
Somebody says that even in a family, when a lady is forced by the husband to have sex against her will, it can be considered rape.

Prostitution. It means to have a sexual relationship with an unknown person paid for the service. Very often girls are abducted from their places and brought to other countries where they are forced to become prostitutes for the sake of getting back their freedom.

Prostitution is called the oldest profession of the world and is known to be present in different forms, since the beginning of humanity. In the past there were religions in which prostitution became a way of worshipping the goddess of love.
Statistic say that prostitution has become one of the biggest illegal business after pornography and drug dealing. Most of the times the girl does not want to do the job, but has no other choices.
Sexual diseases and HIV are spreading fast through prostitution.
In prostitution there is no real relationship, there is no love, there is only the exploitation of the other person for pleasure.



There is still another group of problems. They are not directly regarding sexuality, but are connected with it. This group includes Abortion and contraception.
Abortion. Very often it happens that a girl becomes pregnant, and has neither the will nor the capacity to continue the pregnancy and to give birth to the child. This happens especially in cases of rape, premarital sex etc.

The Church is very clear in the matter. From the very first moment in which the fecundation happens (the sperm enters the ovolus), we are in the presence of a person, though the embryo does not have yet the singular parts of a human body. So every kind of abortion is to be considered a murder. Many governments say that abortion is permitted up to the third month of pregnancy, time in which all the important organs are already formed. Some other countries say that if it is proved that the baby will be born handicapped, or the life of the mother is at risk, then abortion is permitted even after the three months.
The Church strongly rejects all these theories. Abortion is never to be accepted.

Contraception. It means to put a physical obstacle during the sexual relationship so that the lady does not become pregnant. There are different kinds of contraception:

 - Natural methods: These are not to be considered part of contraception and are not a deviation. We put them here for knowledge and for a more complete treaty of the problem. They are the only methods accepted by the Church. From science we know that a woman is fertile only 2 or 3 days per month. The natural methods tend to discover when those days are and invite people not to have sex during those days.

- There is a second group of those methods which block the period of the woman. There are pills, that prevent the eggs from maturing and so, as long as the woman is faithful in taking such pills she will not have the periods and never be fertile. A problem with these pills is that whenever the lady stops taking them she may experience multiple maturations and risk multi-twins pregnancies. In many places, after a lady had 2 or 3 children, doctors make an operation called sterilization. They cut the tubes of the woman and stitch them. The eggs will have no more access to the uterus and so cannot be fertilized anymore. This is an irreversible operation so the lady will never anymore be able to bear children. This method is not accepted by the Church because it changes the natural flow of the woman’s life.

- The third group includes those methods which do not change the rhythm of the woman, but which prevent the fetus from placing himself in the uterus, so the fetus is discharged. Considering that the fetus is already a person, these methods have to be considered abortions. Among these methods we have the IUD which is a small device put in the uterus, we have also the day after pill.

- In the last group we have the condoms. They are kind of rubber gloves placed on the penis of the man during the sexual relationship so when the ejaculation happens the sperms remain entrapped in it and does not really enter the vagina
Condoms are used also to prevent sexual transmitted diseases such as HIV and Syphilis. The use of condoms is forbidden by the Church because it puts an obstacle to the normal flow of nature.

Sexuality 3: from attraction to intimacy and the problem of boundaries

From attraction to intimacy

When a person reaches the teenage, he experiences a strong attraction for people of the other sex. This is natural and has the important task to push him towards relationship. Usually this attraction is strongly "erotic". The person feels the desire of seeing, touching etc. ... At the beginning the attraction is generic (for all girls), but little by little it gets oriented towards one of them which more than the others fulfills what he unconsciously feels he lacks. At this stage he is fully into eros. Usually he is afraid to talk to her for fear of being rejected or made fun of. This first stage is called attraction.

When we have the courage to talk to the girl, we start discovering even more things which are attractive. Furthermore we discover that she is available, she somehow likes me. At this point the emotions go full speed, while the intelligence seems unable to work. The girl is seen as whole perfect, she becomes the centre of all our thoughts, nobody can be compared to her. We feel the need to be always with her, talk to her, share everything with her. This stage is commonly called “falling in love” or “infatuation”.

At this point it is important to start using the brain in order to reduce the imagination and bring it near to reality. It is also important that we develop other kind of friendship, not much as competition, but in order to test the reality of our feelings.

People who are not able to open their life to more friendships are in danger of depression. If anything wrong happens in their relationship, they have nowhere else to refer to for strength and support. That is why the suicide rate among teenagers is very high. This is also the reason for the high number of youth who elope (lovers who run away from home). Most of the cases of eloping, end up in misery. Why? too many emotions and no brain.

When, instead, we are able to use the brain, to face the reality, to lower the expectations, then the other person becomes more normal, more real. Like anyone else, she has good points, but also some weaknesses. Now we can get into the stage called friendship. This is an important moment, because here we can build the reality of life.  We can put foundations which can stay forever, we are able to enjoy the good moments, as well as to accept and fight the difficulties. Friendship is an important and necessary stage of life. Even here it is important that we are open also to other people so to have references and support.

The relationship or friendship with the people around us is always of different kinds, since no one is the same. So it is natural that one friendship be particularly strong and somehow more fulfilling than the others. With this particular person we can establish a particular relationship which we call Intimacy. Intimacy means a special relationship in which we can share the intimate or most secret parts of our life. Typical of intimacy is the fact that we feel safe, trusted by that person, understood, happy. With him they would share things which we would not say to anyone else. He or she is the first person to whom we would go for help. Intimacy is very important especially in the moment of choices for life.

Intimacy does not mean that there are no problems and everything goes well, but it means that love is stronger than the problems, forgiveness is stronger than the mistakes, and the difficulties become instruments of growth rather than obstacles.

The problem of boundaries

In all we have said, comes clear that the more a relationship becomes strong, the more the desire of union will be strong and finally stronger will be also the desire of sexual relationship. Two questions come out:

1- If friendship is so dangerous, then is it a good idea to have friends of the opposite sex?

2- Can a man have an intimate friend who is a woman? Of course husband and wife should reach the point to be real intimate friends, but the question remains for the unmarried people like priests and nuns.

Intimacy is good and important but needs two things:

1- The two people must be mature. It is not enough that one is mature and the other is not.

2- We must have clear boundaries, which means, clear limits which we must not cross. We must know clearly where we can and where we cannot go.

Here are some useful suggestions.

1- Be truthful to yourself. Ask yourself often: “What do I really want in this relationship”?

2- Control the time. How many times do I speak to her, and for how long? Usually once in a week is enough; half an hour is enough.

3- Control the places and the timings of the meetings. Choose open, visible, obvious places and avoid night meetings. (No personal rooms, secret places, cinemas alone, meetings which go on till late at night, etc.)

4- Check if this friendship makes you stronger or weaker in your vocation, in your apostolate, in your community life.

5- I should not be afraid that people know that she is my friend.

6- When I realize that something is not going well, I must have the courage to talk openly with my spiritual director.

7- If, by mistake, anything happens, go and talk to the spiritual director and to the confessor and follow whatever they tell you.

8- Avoid as much as possible unnecessary physical contacts like hugging, walking hand in hand, caresses, kisses, etc.

Sexuality 2: the names of love

Love and sexuality.
Love is the most used and misunderstood word. Everybody likes to speak about love, but what they all mean is different. To love cricket means to enjoy, to love a girl means to feel attraction, to "make love" means to have a sexual relationship, to love our parents means respect and veneration, to love children means care and protection, to love your country means dedication, to love the enemy means to be like God.

Are there different kinds of love? Pope Benedict XVI wrote an encyclical letter called “Deus Charitas est” (God is love). In this letter he says that there are not different kinds of love, but different stages. Love is the nature of God. We human beings participate to the nature of God, (we are at his image), but we are also ruined by sin and by nature we are limited. So the more we grow in the image of God, the more our love is perfect. The more distant we are from God, the worst our love is.


The three stages of Love.
EROS: it means basic love, pleasure, enjoyment, attraction. In this kind of love, the person tries to get as much as possible, but is not willing to give. It is a selfish love. From the word Eros, comes the adjective erotic which is used for pornography, naked pictures etc.

PHILIA. This is the second stage. It means liking something, usually objects like music, art, studies, but also people. Here the person enters into relationship, he both gives and receives, but there is no much depth in the relationship.

AGAPE. This is the third and highest stage. it means pure love. This word is used only in the bible, and is usually referred to God. The word Agape itself was created trying to translate into Greek the Hebrew Ahaba (love) for which, the Jews felt neither Eros nor Philia would give justice. According to St. John, this is the very nature of God (1Jn 4,4). Here the person gives without expecting anything back.

So Eros is the beginning of the process, but in order to be mature we should be able to control eros and transform it into philia, and try as much as possible to reach agape.

All the sins against sexuality and chastity happen when we are slaves of Eros.

Now we understand that love and sexuality are very strictly connected. Sexuality becomes mature when we learn to relate to other people and to ourselves through real love. In other words we could say that love is the language of sexuality.

Sexuality 1: first foundations

Extra readings: some lessons on Sexuality


These readings are not to be done after the lessons on chastity as a separate topic, but together with them as a complement. They are put here as an appendix so they can be used with freedom. Reading them will help us to understand better the concepts developed above.


Genesis 1:26-27 has: "Let us create Human being at our image.... Male and female he created them". In this passage we see that both male and female are image of God so are equal.
Sexuality is the fruit of the creation of God, so everything that belongs to sexuality is good. What is sin is the wrong use of sexuality. When we use sexuality only for our pleasure and against the plan of God, then we commit sin.

The fact of being man and woman means also that the two of them are called to live as community (family) so much united through love that they become one. This means that human beings are made by nature, for relationship and must live by love.

The consequence of this love and of the life of the community is the fact that human beings are called to multiply.

Sexuality is not only the way of living, but also of relating. It is much more than the sexual organs, it gives meaning to everything in our life of relationships.

Stages of growth in sexuality.
At the moment of birth, the baby is already a boy or a girl, but he/she is not aware of it.

Until the age of more or less three months, his main preoccupation is to eat, to release, sleep or cry, and little by little to discover the world around him.

For him there is only the mother, she loves and protects him, her attitude teaches him the importance of love and security in life. Little by little the other relatives enter into the world of the baby. They too encourage him and play with him. This fact teaches the baby the importance of appreciation and support. After the age of three the boy learns how to control the urine and the faeces. This process causes some sensation of pleasure in the area of the penis and the anus. When he touches his penis, he feels something nice. Usually, when the parents see that, they scold him, and start covering him with dresses. The boy may grow with the idea that the penis is something bad, forbidden, and everything connected with it is also bad and forbidden.

From the age of 6 and until 11 the child goes to school. Now the main focus is on learning new things, and on competing with his companions. At this age the sexuality is sleeping and the children do not feel difference between boys and girls. Adults teach them what boys or girls do and do not do, how to dress, how to play, but those are the only differences between boys and girls.

Around the age of 12-14 the biggest and most radical change in the person takes place. The child grows fast, becomes strong. The boys change their voice, build up muscles, and grow moustaches; the girls develop breasts.

At this age, sexuality becomes very important and problematic. The boys see that their penis sometimes is big and hard and other times is small. They have bad dreams filled with erotic and naked figures. Sometimes, when they wake up they discover that they are wet. Sometimes they feel an inner push to do masturbation in order to release the tension. The girls start having the monthly period called menstruation during which they lose blood from the vagina. They experience headache, body pain, bad smell, tiredness. They too may have bad dreams and feel pleasure in touching their intimate parts.

This period called adolescence or teenage is very important in order to prepare the person for the union (marriage) by which the boy and the girl will eventually form a family.

The most important task of the teenagers is to know themselves and what is happening to them, and also to build up some good and healthy relationship. Boys feel attracted to girls, and girls to boys. But they are afraid to talk to each other. It is important that they find somebody mature ( a guide, a friend or a spiritual director) who can help them. Unfortunately, very often, this role of guiding is taken up by the group of peers of the same age. They are people who, like him, lack of experience, and so, problems are not solved and often leave deep scars. They have to deal with people of the opposite sex and discover that there is much more than just sexual attraction.

By the age of 18-20 they should be able to make up table relationships, make final choices for life, so in a few years they would be able to settle down in a family.

Chastity 7: Some help for personal reflection

Biblical passages on Chastity

-) The intimacy with the Lord: Hos 2,16-25; Hos 11, 1-4


-) God’s love: 1 Jn 3,1-3; 1 Jn 4,7-21


-) chastity and apostolate: 1 Cor 7 33-35


-) chastity: anticipation of the kingdom of heaven (Mt 23,30)


Questions for reflection

Who are the people I can say I really love?


How do I express my love for them?


Who are the people I feel attraction for?


What is attractive in them?


Am I happy with myself, my sex, my family, my body, my companions?


What are the things in myself, my sex, my family, my body, my companions which I do not like?


Am I a busy person or do I have a lot of empty time?


Am I happy with the things which I do?


When there is any fall do I have the courage to confess it to the priest? While confessing it do I use generic words hoping the priest will not understand?


Is there anything in my past life I feel guilty about, I find difficult to talk about, to think about?

Chastity 6: In the writings of Don Orione

From the writings of Don Orione

Chastity

Modesty and religious mortification are the safeguard of the beautiful virtue. Mortification and piety are the basis of morality of life. The more you pray, the more you keep on the right path. Why do we sometimes hear people say: That priest... is he like that? Because he does not pray! A soul without prayer is like a barren land, one that is not watered by the life-giving dew. If a person leaves prayer behind she will leave her vocation!

..............

Woe to the person who thinks that he is safe and neglects to take precautions! We have to fight all the time in order to win, right up to the end; our life is a continuous battle, and the one who perseveres wins. I really cannot commend this beautiful virtue enough to you! Blessed are the pure: beati mundo corde! Blessed are those who have a pure heart!

...............

There will never be any lack of occasions for falling, whether you are here or whether you go to other houses. Therefore: 1 = Pray, pray, pray. 2 = Take the necessary precautions and commend yourselves to Our Lady, the mother of purity; be devoted to Our Lady, "Mater purissima." 3 = Flee occasions of sin.

................

Always live in the presence of God. God sees you everywhere. The superiors do not, but God does. Yes, God always sees and He will judge you. Be full of trust in the superiors; say everything, say everything. Remember that the first thing the devil does to set the rot of vice in us against the holy virtue is to fill us with timidity. Be careful over little things, do not say: - This is nothing, that is nothing, they are things of little importance, I want to remove this desire, this curiosity, from me... Now let me see if Don Orione is in the parlour... - Is that nothing? There is much there that should be chased out; there is no good spirit there, there is not a spirit of recollection, or of mortification of the senses, or a spirit of holy modesty.

(from a sermon to nuns on 12.9.1919 Word I. 209 et seq)


Prayer! That is what St. Benedict, the first founder of the religious life in the west, established as the motto of his rule: ora et labora: Pray! et labora, and work.

Work serves to discipline the spirit and to restrain the passions. You are at the age when the battles begin; a precious age but a dangerous one, in which the base and shameful desires awaken; at this age we have to subdue, restrain and discipline ourselves: "ut, carne depressa, spiritus convalescat," (so that, by restraining the flesh, the spirit may grow stronger). Subdue the body so that it does not dominate the spirit. (...)

My dear brothers, purity is upheld by the spirit of prayer and humility, by frequent reception of the sacraments, by temperance and by fleeing the occasions of sin, by fleeing the occasions of sin, by fleeing the occasions of sin. By immediately leaving places and persons that can do us harm; by having an abhorrence for guilt and sensuality. (...)

(from a sermon on 12.8.1939 at Villa Moffa Word XI. 66)

Chastity 5: in our constitutions

The vow of chastity in our Constitutions


Art. 18 of our Constitutions say that Chastity is first of all a gift given by God.


Chastity is something that does not come naturally, and sometimes asks us to act against the desire of our human nature. To follow it is possible and good because we are not merely human but also “divine” through the grace coming to us from the Cross of Jesus. It is to this divine aspect that the vow of chastity refers to, and it is in the name of the fulfilment of this aspect that we are called to sacrifice some aspects of the human nature. We are called to be in intimate communion with the Trinity, communion which is love, and chastity is the way of reaching the highest level of love.


As children of God with a special vocation, we are called to witness this divine reality present in us. (Art. 19). If wedding is a covenant among two people to live and love each other in the name of God, chastity is a covenant with God himself, to live and love him, and through him love all mankind.


Art. 20 explains further this aspect saying that through chastity we make a free gift of our whole person to the service of God and of our brothers.


Is our lifestyle diminishing our nature in any way?


No! Giving up some aspects of our nature does not prevent us from reaching the full development of our personality, but actually gives us a better control of all aspects, and more capacity of opening our love to the whole world. We achieve higher maturity and inner freedom (Art. 21). This is not something automatic and achieved by all because it is possible only when the renunciations are done willingly and joyfully (Art. 22).


How to preserve such precious and delicate gift? We have to use a mixture of spiritual and psychological helps. The psychological tools will guarantee the maturity, the spiritual tools serve to strengthen and consolidate such maturity. Art. 23 indicates some of this tools:


Friendship with Christ; tender and strong devotion to Our Lady; meditation in order to deepen the roots of our donation; prayer for faithfulness so not to feel alone in the moments of trial; mortification of the senses; analysis of our affections to see if they are guided by the Spirit.


I would like to spend a few words on the last two points, not because they are more important but because today are often neglected.


The mortification of the senses was very much used in past ages; now it has become difficult and so is often considered useless. Society bombards us from every side with images of erotic content. In the west it is easy to encounter images of nakedness especially in movies; in the east this is not there but the culture is becoming more and more accustomed to sensual postures, provocative dressing and actions, which, without showing anything, make one imagine and desire what he actually does not see.


As our stomach is filled with the things we eat, so our mind, our memory and also our feelings are fed by the things we hear, see etc. So as we may get used or addicted to some food or drink, so it happens to our mind and even in a larger scale. The more we fill up our time, our reading, our watching, listening with spiritual things, the more we get accustomed to them and learn to recognize the voice of God. When, instead, we fill up our mind with earthly things, we get addicted to them and desires pop up in unexpected moments. This is valid especially for erotic things, pictures, jokes, thoughts; even when we say that they are innocuous because we do not see or do anything. Sexuality is a very strong part of our life and should be respected on every side.


What is at stake here is our capacity of loving because we educate ourselves to control the desire to be free, to give or satisfy the desires and put ourselves at the centre.


The second aspect is to learn to analyze our affections. It is a matter of honesty towards God that has to be at the centre of everything, towards people whom we need to treat with respect, with the purest love, and towards ourselves for consistency with our vocation.


The exercise of examination of conscience is a very powerful instrument. In analyzing the relationships we had during the day, especially with the people close to us, we can ask ourselves: “What was I after, while dealing with this person?” “”what was I hoping for?” “Is God really present and at the centre of this relationship?”


St. Augustine said: “Amor meus pondus meum”. Love is the one thing which decides my position in life. Our loves will attract us in one direction or the other and without we even notice it. We can also ask ourselves “Am I afraid that people come to know about this friendship of mine or am I happy to introduce this friend to my community?”


In the art. 23 we saw mainly the spiritual helps, now in the art. 24 we see the human ones. 3 are the one indicated:


- brotherly communion

- mental and physical health

- work


As we said when we spoke about the relationship between the vow of chastity and the community, community is now our family. We need a family who supports us, encourages us, in which I feel at home when I come back and I can relax. If I do not find this environment in my community, then I will automatically look for it somewhere else. So good, happy relationships among confreres are very useful for our emotional and affective stability.


Health of mind and body is also very important. A weak or tired or depressed person is more at risk of temptations. Especially sadness and depression are the moments in which we look for anything that can make us forget those moments and give us the impression of being strong and alive. Most of the first approaches of sexual excitement like pornography or prostitution happen in moments like this. Our barriers are low and we are vulnerable. Also in the relationship with people of the opposite sex, especially if they show us understanding, pity, care, concern etc.


Manual work is a great help to discharge tensions, find satisfaction and keep our body and mind fit.


Manual work teaches us also the virtue of self-discipline which is of fundamental importance against temptations.


Once we have applied all the above resources, can we say that we are safe? Art. 25 reminds us never to overestimate our capacity of resisting. We should trust in the help of God but if we feel that we would not be able to make it even without the help of God, then the risk is too big.

Chastity 4: Apostolate and community life

Chastity and apostolate

By definition apostolate is the bringing of the message of salvation to all mankind. Apostolate can be said a true one if is lived in chastity, not in the sense that the apostle should not be married, but in the sense that we need to approach people with purity of intentions, without trying to manipulate them to get what we want. As a matter of fact apostolate is the place where religious are more exposed and where many fall. The fact is that in itself apostolate requires love and if we are not mature in our way of loving it is easy to fall from Agape to Philia and from it to Eros.

If our love, due to our weak nature, is not real “agape”, we may expect satisfaction when we help others. People may reject our help or may not be grateful. We get discouraged and give up our work. Some other may be grateful and we get addicted to that satisfaction, and want more and more. We enter into a relationship of friendship, which is good and necessary, but friendship can become attachment, exclusive and so prevent others from getting the same privileges. “Loving according to our identity as consecrated people” means loving in the manner of a person who, in all relationships, wishes to be a clear sign of the love of God, which does not intrude or take over, but loves and desires the well-being of the other with the same kindness of God."

The exaggerated attachment to a person and the consequent conflicts drain out our spiritual resources and we end up empty and de-motivated. The apostolate diminishes our vocation instead of enriching it.

If on one side it is dangerous to get involved emotionally with people, on the other side it would be a mistake to conduct a ministry avoiding all emotions. Apostolate is an act of love and cannot be conducted by robots; it would become assistentialism, social work, but not carry a message of redemption. So to do proper apostolate we should be masters of relations, strong in chastity. More explanations can be found later in the reading about friendship, intimacy and the boundaries.

The person who wants to live his consecrated chastity, frees himself from the need to place himself at the centre of everything and learns to adopt a way of discretion that makes him capable of loving, even intensely, and of living deep friendships, but always bringing out the centrality of God in every human affection, leaving to Him the place that is His.

Chastity and community
Something similar to what happens in the apostolate happens also in the community life. Community should be a family and our brothers a real part of our life. But neither did we grow up together, nor did we choose each other. What keeps us united is the common ideal and commitment. If this spiritual aspect fails, then all the human aspects will prevail. We may like some of our confreres, some we may despise, other we may just treat with indifference.

The vow of chastity should help us to restore the spirituality of love, control emotions like jealousy, envy, attraction.

Community life and chastity becomes particularly difficult for a religious who has homosexual tendencies. He has to live full time with people of whom he may be attracted and who, most of the times, are not aware of his problem. Late Pope John Paul II suggested that, without making any moral judgement on the person, such people should not be allowed to carry on in the priestly formation.

Chastity 3. Double life? Chastity and psychological life

Danger of a wrong interpretation of the vow of chastity: the double way

Today, together with the extraordinary example of so many men and women committed to their consecration, we may find somebody having a wrong interpretation of the vow of chastity. This is possible when we focus only on some aspects of it, while neglecting the global picture and the foundations of the vow itself. This happens when we separate the vow from the consecration and from the fellowship of Christ. The error can be in two different ways.
Some may stress too much on the aspect of not getting married. This can become the reason for rejecting every possible relationship (communication) with people of the opposite sex. This attitude hides some serious psychological problems.
Some other, instead, considering not to get married, solely a rule to be practiced literally, they avoid marriage but allow themselves secretly everything else. This double life of commitment on the outside and of lust on the inside, denotes moral problems. The secret life will become more and more demanding and will bring the person to compromise in all the other aspects, starting from poverty, then community life and eventually the same apostolate. Double life will never bring happiness and sense of fulfilment to the person, but uneasiness and guilt.


Chastity and the three levels of human life

In the introduction we have seen the three levels of human life and said that that is the place where we make all our decisions. We have been created by Love (God) and for love. Love is our very nature so we will respond to the needs of the three levels with love. Since the vow of chastity is nothing else but the right use of love, then it will be very important for a mature dealing with the three levels.
As we have seen in the chapter on sexuality, love can be defined using three words: Eros, Philia, Agape. According to Pope Benedict XVI in his encyclical letter “Deus Charitas est” these three are not different kinds of love but the same love in three different stages. Here is exactly where the three levels of human maturity influence our capacity of loving and where love influences our capacity of living.

The first level tries to satisfy the physiological and material needs. In this level Eros is very strong. We desire something and try to get what can satisfy such desire. The vow of chastity teaches us that such desires should not be satisfied but controlled. Pope Benedict says that in itself Eros is not bad and has a positive function of pushing us to start relationships, but we should not allow it to dominate such relationships. This is the function of the vow of chastity with its strong redeeming power for Eros.

At the second level we have the relational and social needs: the need of belonging, of having support from others. This is the realm of Philia. Here we have friendship. Such love is good because opens us up to the relationships but still lacks the spiritual level. If in the first level the attraction is mainly sexual, here it may be more social but still is a tendency to satisfy our needs, which means to put ourselves at the centre. The vow of chastity teaches us to overcome this temptation and try for a more pure oblative level of love.

 The real love, the love of pure donation can be achieved only at the third level. Here we are in the full consciousness of what is going on around us. We intrinsically need something more than material things, we need to be able to think, to judge. We need something that can endure. This capacity to transcend the physical reality is something possible only to human beings, and is possible only at this level. The intelligence helps us to evaluate properly the situations and to find lines of action which are not necessarily guided by what is good for us, and the spirituality gives us the courage to make the sacrifice of ourselves in order to achieve such oblation. Here love reaches the level of Agape and chastity can be lived in its fullness as a way to reach out to our body or to the others, to redeem our bonds. This love can be called “mad love” because it can go out of the passion of flesh and of simple mutuality.

Chastity 2. Jesus and the women

EXTRA READING: Jesus and the women.

Somebody may say that Jesus was like anyone of his time a close minded misogynist. In fact none of the twelve apostles was a woman. Did Jesus think, like people of his time, that women were useless or inferior?
Before answering about Jesus let us have a look at the condition of women in the Jewish society at the time of Jesus.
The power of men inside the family was “Absolute”. The girl was under the dominion of the father till the moment she would get married (thing that would happen in her early teenage). After that she would move under the protection of her husband. If ever her father would die before her marriage, her elder brother (not her mother) would assume the power. After marriage she would not be free to enter public places unless fully veiled. A serious man would never entertain a woman in a public place and if ever he was in need to talk to her he should bring two witnesses along with him. Rabbi Jose ben Johanan said in the first century: “Do not speak with a woman for long time, neither with your wife nor with the wife of your neighbour... the one who wastes his time talking to a woman attract evil on himself and will end into the Gehenna”.
Given this situation, she could enjoy no public rights. She could not divorce her husband but her husband could divorce her for any petty reason. Her witness in a tribunal was considered not valid, and so she would never be summoned there; She did not need to go to the Synagogue to pray and not even follow the dictate of the law. Often she would be considered “impure” (during menstruation time) and so unapproachable and not worthy to do anything connected with religion. In the Temple of Jerusalem there was a courtyard reserved to them and she could not enter the section reserved to men.
Of course noble and rich women could afford to escape such strict rules. Her duties outside the house were to go to the mill to grind wheat and to the well to fetch water.
For our analysis about Jesus I take passages mainly from the Gospel of John and some references from Luke. We have to say that those Gospels, being based in the Greek world and having been written later (at least John), could denote a more open mentality.

Mary the mother of Jesus. John never calls her by name but always address her as “the mother of Jesus”. When he writes the Gospel, at the end of the first century, Mary is already honoured with that title by the Christian communities. She is mentioned twice: at the beginning and at the end, and always with respect. At the wedding of Cana, she is mentioned before Jesus. It is strange that at the banquet men are together with women, here it seems that she is with Jesus. She is a good family mother and notices what is missing. Most probably this was a wedding of a relative and she was among the people in charge to see the arrangements for the food etc. When she approaches Jesus for a solution he answers taking a distance and bringing the topic to a higher theological level. It is not up to him to decide the timing and way of things. The fact that after this she turns to the servants asking them to do whatever Jesus says means that she is a woman with authority.
From the cross Jesus honours her who was a widow with no son entrusting her not to her natural family but to the new family he created, the family of the believers. According to the law a widow was free to stay with the family of the husband or to go back to her father's.
In both cases Jesus addresses her as “Woman”, not as “mother”. In her we see the destiny of all women starting from Eve till today. So even at the moment of Jesus' death we can see the honour he has for her. It is like a moral authority which is based on the service to the will of God: “the one who does the will of my Father in heaven he is my mother and sister and brother” (Mt. 12:50)

The Samaritan woman. Coming back from Judea to Galilee Jesus had to pass through Samaria. Samaritan people were marginalized and hated by the Jews. You can imagine how the women of Samaria could have been considered. Jesus makes use of a woman to rebuild the broken relation between the two nations. Jesus is the one who starts the conversation; he provokes her asking for something to drink. The wonder of the woman is clear and maybe even mixed to a little of fear: Jesus is a Jewish and not a law abiding one: does he have second intentions? He starts talking about a strange kind of water and this little by little opens to the possibility of a deeper dialogue. Jesus conducts the discussions and turns the topics at the right moment: “Where is your husband”. To talk about the husband could have been a way to be safe; instead here it becomes more embarrassing because she is forced to admit her irregular situation and even more so when Jesus shows that he knows already her situation. The way she admit it openly shows that she doesn't care much about the public opinion, but at the same time she shows an interest in religion because she is able to see a prophet in Jesus. Now she is the one to move the dialogue to a more religious level. The fact that Jesus has uncovered her weaknesses and yet still respects her has made every barrier fall. Now she feels comfortable in talking and listening. The wonder and admiration grow even bigger when she realizes that Jesus can even go beyond law in order to reach the true religion: “God wants those who adore, to do it in spirit and in truth”. The final blow comes with the sentence: “The Messiah is the one who is talking to you now”. Now she is won over, she has become a disciple and as such she is willing to leave everything behind. The jar for the water which she leaves behind at the well show this clear cut with his past. Now she is a messenger of the good news and invites all people to go to Jesus. When the Samaritans too listen to Jesus the division between Jewish and Samaritans is over.

The Adulteress. This woman is caught in adultery and brought to Jesus to be stoned. It is a way to test Jesus and his attitude towards this kind of sins. If the woman has been caught doing adultery it means that there was also a man involved but the one under accusation is only the woman. Jesus makes people understand that there is no more difference between man and woman, we are all equal in front of God. They had asked him to judge the sin of the woman he asks them to judge their own sins: “Let he who has no sin throw the first stone”. All left. Jesus forgives the woman, not because she is innocent but because God is merciful, as long as we commit ourselves not to sin anymore.

Martha and Mary. They are the sisters of Lazarus. They are in the house with him which means they are not married yet and probably their father died. From the position of the house and the description it seems that they are rich. It seems that they are very good friends of Jesus and maybe even disciples though they do not walk along with him. In Lk 10 only the two sisters appear. They seem to be very familiar with Jesus in the way they speak to him and he to them. To entertain a guest should have been the duty of Lazarus not of Mary, hence the scolding of Martha to her sister. Jesus goes beyond the cliché of the culture giving preference to the spiritual site of the relationship.
In the occasion of the death of Lazarus they send to call Jesus, a gentle request of help from friends. Jesus seems to ignore the request and for that Martha scolds him: “if you would have been here my brother would have not died”. Martha is sad but her faith in Jesus is not shaken: “even now I know that whatever you will ask the Father for, he will grant it”. Neither Jesus nor her seem to have problem in stopping to talk in the middle of the road, where everybody can see and comment. Jesus uses her as an example to speak about the faith necessary for every miracle. With Mary the talk is shorter and here Jesus shows openly his love through his tears. Martha had shown us the divine side of Jesus, Mary shows us the human one. Now it is time for Jesus to make the miracle.
A few days later there is a banquet in Lazarus house, probably to celebrate his coming back to life and of course Jesus is the main guest with his disciples. Mary shows once again that she is a loving disciple attentive to the needs. In a simple gesture she anticipates the whole mystery which will unfold just a few days later. She washes his feet (like Jesus will do with the disciples at the last supper) and also anoints him anticipating his death and burial (Jesus himself comments that saying: “Was she not keeping it for the day of my burial?”). Even here the attitude of the woman is unthinkable. A woman should not enter the banquet hall where there are men, should not touch a man in public place and should not show her hair for people not members of her family. Here she even uses her hair to wipe Jesus' feet. (Uncovered hair where used by prostitutes to allure clients). She uses very expensive oil costing the equivalent of 10 months of salary, money which could have been used for the poor, according to all the teaching of Jesus himself. Jesus allows Mary to break all the barriers which enslave women and to teach the apostles how to put God and his honour above everything else (even apostolate). He allows her to express freely her sentiments of love and gratitude.

Mary of Magdala. Is one of the women at the feet of the cross. Magdala was a town of Galilee and we saw her there the first time so most probably she came down to Jerusalem together with the disciples of Jesus. Now we see her at the tomb of Jesus. She went there early in the morning, as early as possible, contrary of what the disciples did. She has true love for Jesus and so when she sees the open tomb she is worried that somebody may have taken away the body. She sees Jesus but do not recognize him because her sadness for his death is too strong. When the relationship is just formal (Woman whom do you search?) her heart is somewhere else. She recognizes him only after he calls her by name, when the relationship becomes personal. She is like the sheep that recognize the voice of the shepherd who calls them by name (Jn 10:4). She would like to hug him and not let him escape any more but Jesus does not allow her that. He sends her as his messenger of the greatest news ever: the resurrection. So she is the disciple sent (apostle?), she who was a woman. Who in Israel would believe in the witness of a woman?

Other women. In the synoptic gospels there are other female figures like those who were “disciples of the Lord and used to provide for the Lord out of their possession”. We have the prostitute who enters the house of Simon to wash the feet of Jesus and is indicated as example of love, the woman who touches his mantle and get cured of her haemorrhage, the Cananean woman who has more faith than all the people in Israel, the old widow who puts the coin in the treasury of the temple and is indicated as the greatest donor of all.

Recapitulating we can say that the behaviour of Jesus is peculiar and somehow transgressive. He breaks traditions old of centuries and based on passages of the Old Testament. The woman is not any more confined into the house but gets out to follow Jesus all through Palestine. Now the woman knows how to act independently from man, can take up her responsibility and becomes a real apostle. Now between man and woman a genuine communication is possible without prejudices or fear.
Now that the woman has been freed from marginalization she can express freely her potential of faith and love, dedication and identification with the person and the mission of Jesus. She can discover her real identity and function inside of the Christian community.
This journey of liberation for the women, started by Jesus, had a long and difficult journey during the centuries of Christianity. We do not need to go back too many years to see the woman still relegated at the corners of society and of religion.
Pope John Paul II in 1993 said: “The mission entrusted onto the woman is rooted in the depth of her personal being. This put her on par level with man in dignity. What makes the woman different is the richness of traits typical of her femininity. … The evangelical message about the dignity of women encounters today a renewed sensibility which now rediscovers the value of being a woman and gives justice to the past discriminations. No more violence against women”

Chastity1. Old Testament; life of Jesus

The vow of Chastity

What is actually chastity? It is difficult to give an exhaustive answer in few words. Every man is called to find his fulfilment in God who is pure love. The love of God is a pure one, free from every possible human attachment, but our nature , which craves for such love, is at the same time ruined by sin and so feels also the pressure of other attachments which often at his eyes look look like real love.

Chastity is the combination of three elements:
The call of making the journey of purification of our love
The commitment we undertake to do our best in this journey
The much needed grace of God to make this journey possible.

So the vow of chastity is much more than celibacy (not getting married), but regards all the ways in which we deal with our relationships.
We sin against chastity whenever we try to possess others, we exploit them for our purposes, we put them before God. Whenever, in doing things, we look for human appreciation rather than righteousness.
Chastity is about how we love and, for the followers of Christ, love is the only possible way of living.


Chastity in the OT

Since creation God gave human kinds the order “grow and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). All through the Old Testament fertility has been the greatest gift God could give to a woman, and sterility was considered a curse from God. Furthermore, when the promise came that God would send a Messiah, all women pondered the chance that they could become his mother. Finally women were very much considered at the service of the household and of the upbringing of the children, so it was unthinkable for a young Jewish lady not to get married.
Based on these facts all the protestants scholars reject the idea that Mary remained a virgin after Jesus' birth.
Indeed the desire of Mary to remain virgin is understandable only as a strong spiritual inspiration raised in Mary by God himself and for the sake of the motherhood of Jesus. After all she was betrothed to Joseph.
If by the vow of chastity we consider the fact of not getting married, we can say that it does not exist in the Old Testament.
Even from the point of view of men the duty of procreating in order to strengthen the people of God was felt important and it was considered an offence to God to deny this. Even the prophets and the priests in the temple were married. It is true that we do not have news about wives or children of some prophets like Elijah and Jeremiah, but this does not mean that they were not married.
From sources parallels to the bible we know of a Rabbi, more or less contemporary of Jesus, who did not want to get married because he had stuck his heart to the Torah.


The life of Jesus
 Jesus is the model of Chastity because he is the perfect model of Love and of relationships. In his life (in the three years spent for the apostolate), he dealt with people of every kind: children, youth, adult, men and women. He always acted with love, respect for the dignity of the person in front of him and concern for his well-being. This he did even if the person he was dealing with was a prostitute of a public sinner.
He was free to deal with them all and concerned for their good; he was not worried to break some cultural taboos of the society of his time. No master would spend time to play with children, no one would entertain women, especially those with bad reputation or doubtful behaviour. Jesus, instead, accepts their condition and actions and uses them as entrance point to send them a message of conversion and salvation. He seems to make no difference if the sinner is Zaccheus or the prostitute, if he is speaking to Nicodemus or to the Samaritan woman.
What makes Jesus so special is the inner freedom he has. All his words and actions are driven only by the desire that the person should be saved and for that to send him a message of redemption. But his words are not cold or apologetic; his relationship is warm, full of passion and striking the chords of the heart.
In the meeting with the young rich fellow it is written: “Jesus, looking at him loved him, and said: 'you lack one more thing'” (Mk 10:21). With the Samaritan woman he manages to uncover the most shameful situation (she had 5 husbands and is living now with another one), but without judgement or reproach. He saves the adulteress who is about to be stoned and simply says to her “neither do I condemn you. Go and so not sin any more”. When a prostitute comes into the house and wets his feet with her tears and wipes them with her hair and kisses them (all highly shameful actions for that time), Jesus justifies her in the name of love: “Her many sins are forgiven because of her great love” (Lk 7:47).
If we consider the vow of chastity from the point of view of not getting married, then Jesus speaks directly about it only in one occasion. In Mt 19:10-12, after the talk about marriage and divorce, the question comes to him: “if that is the condition of a married man then it is better not to get married”. And Jesus replies: “Not everybody can accept what you have said, but only those who have received this gift. … There are some who have given up the possibility of marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who can accept it, accept it”.
So we take our teaching mainly from the example of Jesus' life. He married no one because his heart was fully for the Father and his life fully dedicated to the mission, a mission in which he had to love everyone with the same intensity.
In the New Testament we have also some other example of chastity.
First of all we have Mother Mary. She was married but we know by faith that she remained virgin through the whole life. In her we see a strong attachment to the will of God and to her vocation: to give birth, raise and accompany Jesus. She has become the mother of all living because her love was so pure that could be somehow compared to the one of the Father and the one of her Son.
We know that some of the apostles, maybe all of them, considering the mentality of the time, were married. Of Peter is said that Jesus entered his house and healed his mother in law. An old Eastern tradition of the Orthodox Church, says that the person getting married at the wedding of Cana was the apostle James (a first cousin of Jesus and the first Bishop of Jerusalem). Maybe John was still too young to get married, when he first met Jesus. But we have good reasons to think that Paul never married because of his busy life at the service of the Gospel. He himself gives us a hint in 1 Cor 7:8-9 when he says: “To the unmarried and the widow I say to remain as I am, but if they cannot control themselves, let them marry, because is better to marry than to burn with passion”.

Comment on our formula of profession

Our formula of profession


During my life I had many occasions to participate to religious professions of members of different congregations. I had also the chance to take in hand the constitutions of many congregations, especially of sisters. I am not afraid to say that I never saw a formula of profession so deep and complete as ours. I can say that it is the spiritually richest and theologically most meaningful formula I ever saw.

This formula condensate in few words the reality of our charism, of our vocation and also of our life. Let us see some points of it.

Responding: The call to religious life is not our initiative or something that one day we decide to do for the Lord. It is God's initiative and we respond to it.

to the love of God: is a call of love for a life of love. God calls us because he loves us. He loved us from the beginning, each one of us with a particular love, ad particular is the vocation he gives us. So vocation is something beautiful, precious which should be treasured. The one who loves us and calls us is God himself, the creator of everything, the one who knows how things are and go.

which calls me to follow Christ: This is the object of our vocation. As we said above, religious life is primarily a fellowship of Christ. Christ is the model to be followed in our life.

more closely: It is important to underline this two words because all Christians are called to follow Christ but we religious have to do it in a special way. The vows are what mark the difference with the baptismal consecration of all Christians.

With complete freedom: This speaks of both inner and external freedom. Nobody can force me to become a religious, neither my parents, nor my spiritual director. The vocation is ours and ours alone. But we should be free also internally. We have seen in the previous chapters what inner freedom means. This is not to deny the importance of spiritual direction. Spiritual direction is actually very important in the process of discernment. We ask a person with more experience to help us to verify our motivations; but at the end the decision is ours not his.

I offer myself totally: What we offer is not a material good or a precious item, but the whole of ourselves, life, desires. This reminds me of the prayer St Ignatius of Loyola put at the end of his Spiritual exercises: “Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my intellect, and all my will -- all that I have and possess. Thou gavest it to me: to Thee, Lord, I return it! All is Thine, dispose of it according to all Thy will. Give me Thy love and grace, for this is enough for me”.

to the Father to be consecrated by him to a new life through Christ in the Holy Spirit: The whole Trinity is involved. We go to the Father, the Father makes us holy through the blood of Christ by the sanctifying work of the Spirit. What we start at the moment of our first profession is a new life, a life “informed”, moulded on the shape of the Trinity. It is a second creation and a second baptism.

I commit myself: So far God was the centre of all our statements. Now comes our part: we commit ourselves, we risk our life. It is a contract like the one of marriage and the counterpart is ourselves. What do we promise?

to live in the Orionine family: to become part of a family, a vast various family united by a charism, so we are called to make our own the style of Don Orione.

in communion with my brothers: The community life is much more than just living together and working together. I always wondered if this word communion of life has the same meaning as the word “communion” which we use for the Eucharist. If it is so, then, it is a commitment of becoming one with the others, of taking up on ourselves their failures and shortcomings, and laying down our life for their salvation. This is what Christ did when he got in communion with us.

adhering to Jesus Crucified: The fellowship of Christ is up to the end. We do not follow the miracles maker or the preacher. The death on the Cross is the highest moment of his love for us and of his sharing of our nature. It is the central part of his life. Jesus himself said: “If you want to follow me, deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me” (Mt 16:24). Don Orione has wonderful expressions about the Cross: we should stay at the feet of the Cross; being crucified with him; the Congregation was born on a Holy Friday; it will flourish if it will stay united to the Cross of Jesus; etc.

in faithfulness to the Church and to the Pope: This is the central aspect of our Charism, the reason for which we chose this Congregation and not another one.

serving our poorest brothers and sisters: Also this is a pillar of our Charism and of our apostolate as we have mentioned in the passages about our charism. Don Orione insisted always that we should be serving the poorest.

for the sake of the Kingdom of God: All the preaching and acting of Jesus was focused on the coming of the kingdom of God. We are just continuing his mission as he has commanded: “Proclaim this message: the kingdom of God is near” (Mt 10: 7); “Go out to the whole world and proclaim the good news to all creation” (Mk 16:15).

Each one of the above points will be properly developed in one chapter of the same constitutions.

Thus trusting in the help of Mary, Immaculate Mother of God and Mother of the Church: The forth of the big pillars indicated by Don Orione, or, as he would call them, the forth big love. Here Mary is seen as the Mother of God, the Mother of the Church, and the one who helps us (Mother of Divine Providence).

and trusting in the intercession of our Blessed Founder and of our Patron Saints: The saints who are in heaven are an integral part of our family because they are not dead but they live the eternal life. If the purpose of God is to have everyone to participate to this life of love, how much more those people can be active now than they were before, since now they are in direct contact with God. This is an answer to those protestant theories which reject the intercession of the saints. So the saints are part of the Church, the most important part because they are the part which already fulfilled the plan.

to you, N.N. Director of our Congregation (or to you, N.N., who take the place of the Director of our Congregation): the superior is the one who represents the family to which we come to be part, but also represents the Church by whom he is recognized. Now with the vows we take a new place in the Church and so the presence of a representative of the Church is the ratification of such position.

and before all you here present: All the participants are called to be witnesses of what happens. They too represent the Church, not in its hierarchical structure (that is done by the superior), but in the basic part as people of God. They represent also all the members of the religious family.

I, N.N. It is a personal commitment so nobody can substitute the person. We already spoke about it in the chapter on freedom.

make vows of chastity, poverty and obedience (and of special faithfulness to the Pope): The vows, which are the centre of our consecration and the way of living it, will be widely commented in their relative chapters.

for one year (for life): The fact that the profession is valid only for one year does not make it less serious or less valid. It is a canonical requirement to give a period of 3 – 9 years to verify the authenticity of the vocation. Of course any test will be effective only if taken seriously and lived at the best of capacities.

according to the Constitutions of the Little Work of Divine Providence. The one we commit ourselves to is a very clear path, well indicated by our rule of life (see introduction about rules).

May the grace of God and your brotherly communion help me to be faithful. Amen. This sentence is a humble acknowledgement of our weaknesses and of the need of the support of our brothers.


As we can see all the chapters in our constitutions are dealt with in this formula: the consecration, the religious family, the vows, the community, the prayer, the apostolate, the authority. Administration only is missing.

Our spirituality and Consecration

OUR SPIRITUALITY


Both Charism and Spirituality are properly dealt with in the book “On the footsteps of Don Orione”, and so I invite you to refer to that for a proper formation. But what is the difference between Charism and Spirituality?


Our Charism, as we saw above is a free gift from God. From God it comes, God shaped it and entrusted it to us. Now we are called to act upon it to implement it, to make it alive in the Church of today. The way we do so is called Spirituality.


We call it spirituality, because it reminds us the word “spirit”. We would think immediately of something outside the world, something opposite to practical or material. This is a wrong way of thinking. The practical and the material are fully involved in it. We speak of spiritual because all our activities have to be “informed”, shaped by the Spirit of God, only then, we can be sure they will be right and “effective”.


Just a word about the distinction between “effective” and “efficient”.


By efficient we mean somebody who does well his job, somebody who works hard. The stress of the sentence is mainly of the person itself and how it works. When, instead, we speak of effective, we put the stress on the results. So a work is effective only when it achieves the goal it was made for.


If we apply this principle to our institutions we see the real consequence of it. Our school is efficient when it has good staff, well done timetable, good equipment. But this does not take in consideration the final results. Will the students pass well the exams? and even more: Do the students receive a valuable education (which is much more than the knowledge learned in the books); do they achieve those values necessary to go through life, and not just through a career? Do our students experience the love of God for them and do they feel the desire to give an answer to such call from God?


To say that an institution is effective it means to achieve all these points, regardless the fact that the school may be poor or rich, may have equipments or may not. In a word we could say that the efficient stresses on the material aspects, the efficacious on the globality of the person, a great part of which is spiritual. The big temptation for the religious, in a society, which is highly competitive, is to focus on efficiency rather than effectiveness, because it is more visible and can easily raise praises.




Consecration


Article 5 of our constitutions has already introduced us to the topic of consecration. Now the chapter 2 helps us to go deeper into it.


What is consecration?


This word comes from the root “sacred” which means “holy” and the preposition “con” which means “with”. So literally it should mean “to be made one together with the one who is Holy”.


We already mentioned that the meaning of our consecration is to be found in the twofold aspect of “unity with God” and “fellowship of Christ”.


We come from God and will have our final fulfilment only when we go back to him. This is the main aim of all religions. St Augustine starts his book “The confessions” with the sentence: “You created us for yourself, o Lord, and our heart will not find peace till it rests in you”. But if the aim is the same in all religions, the way of achieving it is substantially different. In Islam the person has to follow all the rules prescribed by God himself in the Quran, In Hinduism the person has to perform all the rites prescribed for the different divinities; in Buddhism the person has to achieve the inner peace through a process of purification of the senses and detachment from passions.


For us Christians this union with God is basically a gift from God himself, an offering done through “kenosys”, the lowering of himself of Jesus in the Incarnation. If on one side God is so high, unreachable by our nature ruined by sins, now in Jesus who came to free us from sin, this union is made possible. And here comes the second aspect of our consecration: the fellowship – imitation of Christ.


Indeed our religion and, even more, our religious life would lose their meaning without Christ. Jesus said: “If you want to follow me, renounce yourself, pick up your cross and follow me” (Mt 16:24). The Art. 10 of our constitutions says that we answer to the gift of God through our life in common and our vows. Community life and vows, which with prayer and apostolate form the foundation of religious life, are our way of following Christ, and so a way of renouncing to oneself. They cannot be separated from the mystery of the cross. Community life and vows should never be a way of achieving an easier or more comfortable life, nor apostolate a way of achieving a successful career.


The union with God is our final goal, but is not something far away, achievable only after death. In theology we study the formula of the “already but not yet”. We have not yet achieved it fully but by the grace of God we are already living it and our way of living it is exactly our “sequela Christi”, the fellowship of the one who is “the way, the truth and the life”.